Thursday, November 12, 2015

Coyote Zapper

Words fail me.

A Kevlar vest?  Yeah, maybe, I can understand.  I might buy one for tracking or hiking if the dog seemed to need it.  Probably not, but maybe in a bout of irrationality or in the midst of a week long bender.

Spiked collar?  Seems a bit of fashion overkill when there is still plenty of neck for a coyote to use to drag this dog off or it will just find its trachea ripped out from below but, hey, I roll in a libertarian direction, who am I to judge?

"Coyote whiskers"?  Alright, now you're going too far.  I am calling the animal welfare people.  No dog should be forced to wear that in public and definitely need to be taxed at a higher rate because you have too much disposable income.

"Coyote Zapper"?

The CoyoteZapper utilizes a dog training collar capable of delivering a painful shock. But instead of shocking your dog in the neck, it shocks the coyote in the mouth. 
It works by attaching two strips of highly conductive fabric along the length of the CoyoteVest and connecting them to the shock module. ​The strips are attached to either side of the CoyoteVest in such a way that it is impossible for a larger dog to pick up your small dog without his mouth touching both of them at the same time. If you push the button on the remote to activate the shock module the voltage will be directed though the strips directly into the mouth of the attacker. The shock is harmless, but painful enough to make the attacker let go.

I can't even remember where I put the poop bags half the time, like I'll always have the remote zapper control.

I love that the maker feels the need to assure us that the shock is harmless to the coyote.

Is there a hidden camera?  Is this, a skit from Portlandia?


  1. Having your dog killed by Coyote is about as serious as it gets, there is nothing funny about it. All we are trying to do is buy you some time to break off the attack. Something needs to be done because a lot of pets are being killed, and lots of cities are arguing about Coyote control. The problem is real.

    1. Dear Unknown, or shall I call you Paul Mott?

      Of course the threat is real. I am a country kid. This is one reason country kids like our guns and most states have a coyote season that runs about 350 days a year.

      It is quite possible I have killed as many 'yotes as you've ever seen, and I let my dogs run free in the yard at night.

      The answer for a city dog is simple, keep you dog on a damn leash, especially from dusk until dawn. Coyote attacks on people are extremely rare. Attacks on adults are almost non-existent. This also protects from more common threats, loose rat poison etc.

      I object to false hope. I really object to false hope advertised for profit. Again, buy a leash, but then again, most people already own a leash, there is no profit there. If you're really concerned, buy bear spray. It works against all predators, canine and sapien.

      I do not doubt your loss. I will try not to question your intent. Your product and your expectations, however, reveal an abundance of ignorance and I find them comical. I shall spare neither.

    2. Or for a product made by people who actually know what they are doing (and they aren't gonna sell you funny looking "whiskers," go to a redneck.